His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I feel like abortions should bother me more
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
