And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
