just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
