No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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