To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
