I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
