living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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