i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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