He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
