Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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