Christians are straight up FREAKS
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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