yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
