Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
