I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just blew my weed a kiss
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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