apparently the secret to your success is patron
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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