Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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