is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
