dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
