When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just google imaged poop.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
vagina is talking i cant
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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