is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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