It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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