Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
