your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
