I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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