I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
