lets start a swedish sibling band together
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
