dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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