i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize