There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
