my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
