how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
