and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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