you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
