As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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