1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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