Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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