So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
