you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I intend to get homeless drunk
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
