6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Farmville is her only friend.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
