but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You are a genius and a whore.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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