The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
