I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
