my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
