It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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