Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
