Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize