i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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