Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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