Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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