he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
worst night to have a conscience
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize