Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
