If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
