"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
