You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
