I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
