he shaved USA in his pubs
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
