It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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